


Eat

by fuckthenaysayers



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Food, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7970926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckthenaysayers/pseuds/fuckthenaysayers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inside the fridge was a plate of food, covered carefully with plastic wrap and a little note on top. Jack's heart leapt into his throat, grabbing the note. The neat writing sent a flood of warmth through Jack, reading it carefully.</p><p>'You need to buy groceries, can't just live on smoothies and power bars! I made too much tonight and this is on your meal plan so I figured you could eat it. Let myself in with the spare you gave me, hope that's okay. Take care of yourself.  - B'</p><p>OR the "We broke up but I keep bringing you dinner because otherwise you'll try to live on protein bars and die" AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> prompt originally from here: http://nadiahilker.tumblr.com/post/146473062490
> 
> preview is from a later chapter
> 
> fic is part of OMGCP trope challenge #7: Secret Relationships

Bitty thought he had it all planned out. Since the talk he and Jack had over skype the day of Jack's graduation, he could see the path of their future rolling out ahead of him. They became boyfriends, secretly, which Bitty agreed to not only because Jack was at the very start of his NHL career, but Bitty himself hadn't even come out to his parents yet. 

 

It had been an easy decision at the time, one he was sure they would eventually change. Maybe when Jack's first year was done, maybe if the Falconers' won the Cup, maybe even they'd wait until Bitty graduated. He could wait, that's what he told himself, that Jack had been plenty worth it, and he was. 

 

Jack's first year had come and gone in what felt like a flash. In the meantime they visited each other as often as possible without raising suspicion, more weekends than not though were spent wistfully looking at each other through the screens of their laptops. 

 

The summer after Bitty's junior year, he came out to his parents. It wasn't as awful as he'd built it up to be in his head, but it certainly wasn't the immediate approval he'd grown so used to at Samwell. After a few tense days, his parents sat him down and told him they loved him no matter what, and really that was all Bitty could hope for. When he told Jack about it after the first night, Jack had been quick to soothe him, spouting praise and comfort to try and reassure him that the response was good. When Bitty settled down a little though, he asked something, his voice a bit stilted, and face hard to read. 

 

"Did you tell them about us?"

 

"Oh, no, not at all. You know this was all a bit spur of the moment for me, so you and I haven't even talked about that sort of thing yet. Would you... want me to? Or rather I wait?"

 

Jack didn't answer back immediately, and that was already plenty a response for Bitty. He was quick to follow himself up, not wanting to make Jack actually say it. "Well, maybe I should wait on that, I mean I've already dropped quite the bomb on them after all. And you haven't even told your parents yet either. We can hold off on the 'I've got a secret NHL boyfriend' talk for a while." 

 

Jack's response was a little chuckle, and Bitty noted the instant look of relief that flooded his face. "I guess that's true. We can have those talks later." The conversation switched topics, but Bitty couldn't forget that relieved look on Jack's face, or the question that still burned at the tip of his tongue.

 

'When?'

\--

 

The next year didn't speed by nearly as quickly as their first together, but it still seemed to move faster than Bitty liked. Graduation snuck up on them before either could really broach the subject, and when Jack came down with the rest of the SMH Alumni, it was just as a 'friend'. Bitty didn't really think about it too much, there was so much happening that needed his attention more, but looking at the pictures on facebook the next day he was filled with a dull disappointment to find none with him and Jack less than an arm's length from each other.

 

Around the same time as graduation, the Stanley Cup finals had begun. The Falconers had been killing it all season, with Jack really coming into his own as he blazed into his second year as a NHL Pro, and helped bring the team all the way to the final game. Bitty was seated right against the glass, Shitty and Lardo on one side of him, the rest of the Samwell team on the other. Jack had gotten them the tickets in advance, giving them to Bitty to hand over along with sweet kisses and apologies for being unable to put them in the family section. 

 

None of that mattered by the final buzzer, the rink booming with cheers and applause, blue and white confetti and balloons descending onto everyone. Bitty could hardly hear through the cacophony, his own voice adding to it as tears flooded his eyes, joining everyone else in jumping to his feet and celebrating. 

 

The Falconers seemed almost frozen for a moment, before the realization kicked in and they began to lose it, Jack immediately skating over to where Bitty and the others were, hands smacking at the glass. In the midst of it all, Bitty could swear it looked like Jack was trying to say something. His heart was pounding in his ears, had this been it? The moment? But just as quickly as he came over, Jack let himself get pulled away by Tater, the team crowding into each other and hugging as others flooded the ice to begin the Cup awarding ceremony. Bitty watched, a hand clutching at his chest, blinking away tears and smiling widely. Whether the tears were purely from joy and pride, he couldn't quite tell.

 

\--

When all the other milestones they'd gone through had failed to reveal anything major, Bitty had grown to be okay with that. There was one he knew would be coming that couldn't happen without something being said, at least to their parents and friends. 

 

Bitty had graduated, and Jack and Bitty agreed that he should move to Providence come the summer. He'd been sort of bumming it at the haus until any plans were really set in stone, but he knew they'd have to happen soon. The next weekend Jack suggested he come up, Bitty packed a little heavier, hoping to ease the load he'd have to bring next time. 

 

The conversation came up late in the night, as they sat on the couch half-watching a rerun of Kitchen Nightmares. "Have you looked into anything yet?" Jack asked, voice neutral and eyes flickering from the TV to Bitty just once before turning back. Bitty looked up from his comfy spot cuddled into Jack's shoulder, curious. 

 

"Looked into what?"

 

"...Like uh, plans. For moving to Providence."

 

"Oh! Well, I figured you could help me just get whatever I've got left at the Haus in your godawful truck, so that's mostly sorted. I've done some job searching, not a lot quite what I'm hoping for but I applied to some bakeries and restaurants nearby."

 

"That's great, Bits. But what about housing?"

 

Bitty jolted away like he's been burned. "What?"

 

"Apartments. I could help you look if you'd like. I know there were some really nice ones I saw on my first home search that were really affordable." When Bitty didn't reply right away, Jack turned toward him fully, brows furrowed. "Bits?"

 

"I uh... I guess I'd been under the impression I'd be moving in here. With you." A quiet, sheepish laugh followed, eyes downcast and refusing to meet Jack's.

 

"Oh." Jack murmured, his voice low and rough. The silence swallows them, minutes passing with nothing to break it. "You know I love you, right Bits?" Bitty nodded, his mouth pulling into a tight line that was all too familiar to Jack. "I-I just can't risk it. It's hard enough as it is keeping the place looking like it's just me here with you not actually living here, I don't think it'd be possible if you did."

 

More silence, then Bitty let out a quiet retort. "Why does it have to?"

 

"Eh?"

 

"The only people who visit your apartment besides me are our friends or your parents. Why do we still have to hide from them?"

 

"Bits..."

 

"Don't Bits me, Jack. We've talked about this so much, can you blame me for being shocked? I thought when we first got together that me going back into the closet would be a temporary thing. Maybe after your first year, maybe if you win the cup, maybe once I've graduated. Those things have all come and gone now and we haven't even told our parents anything."

 

Jack was stone-faced, staring down at the coffee table in front of him, hands clutched together in a tight grip. "I know. I'm sorry I've made you go back in the closet for me, I can never repay you for all you do and have done for me." He looked over to Bitty, eyebrows furrowing into a pleading look, as he reached out for the younger man's hands, holding them tightly. "I swear we can do it soon, it's just, this will be my first year with the C coming up and I can't have the possibility of our relationship leaking affecting the team."

 

Bitty's eyebrows flew up in shock, pulling his hands away. "Affect the team?! What about affecting me? All I asked for was to let those closest to us know, that doesn't have to involve the Falconers at all." His heart was thumping in his ears, mouth moving faster than his brain could actually process. "If the idea of our relationship getting out still scares you that much, maybe there shouldn't be a relationship at all."

 

Jack looked aghast, scrambling to make contact with Bitty but the blonde hopped up, quickly putting distance between them, rushing off to the bedroom. "Bitty! Bits, please." Was all he could manage to say, voice sounding strained as he hurried after him. Bitty had pulled out one of his overnight bags, and started filling it with everything of his he saw. "Bits, you can't, I-I can't."

 

"I can and I will, Mister Zimmermann. I am DONE, done being your dirty little secret." He huffed between movements, cramming the flower-printed bag with anything he could get his hands on. "I love you, my god do I love you, but I deserve better than that. I deserve better than this." He sniffled, tears blurring his vision as he moved on to the bathroom. 

 

Jack watched him as he moved around, collecting his things, upset and concern clearly waging war on his face. He watched as Bitty removed his things one by one from their master bathroom, his breath catching in his throat when Bitty grabbed his blue toothbrush from the cup that held both of theirs, leaving Jack's red one all alone. "Bits, please, let's go sit down again. Let's talk, we can work this out."

 

That got him an angry, watery glare, which he quickly turned away from, guilt flooding into him. "There is nothing to work out, Jack. I want to come out, and you don't. I can't hide anymore, I can't. I wanted nothing more than to show the entire world how happy you made me, but I kept it all quiet for you for years. And now I'm not happy, so I'm doing the only thing I can to try and change it. I'm leaving."

 

Jack wanted to argue that, to fight, to tell Bitty that nothing else in the world made him feel as good as Bitty did, and he couldn't be so cruel as to take that from him. But that underlying fear that had made a home in his gut reminded him of all he had at stake, all he could lose if the NHL took him coming out badly. So he stayed quiet. He didn't fight for Bitty, despite that being all either of them truly wanted, and watched as Bitty continued emptying what could've been 'their' home of his belongings.

 

With two bags loaded up with his things, Bitty sat on the curb outside and called an Uber. Jack stood at the door, watching through the window as Bitty's head sunk into his hands, his small body shaking with sobs. Jack blinked hard, rubbing at the tears in his own eyes and turning away when a car pulled up beside Bitty, unable to watch him leave. He couldn't bring himself to shake his fear, and as the car pulled away, he slid to the floor, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes and wondering if he'd been fearing the wrong thing this whole time.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The silence was eating him alive. Every morning Jack woke to nothing but the obnoxiously loud beep of his alarm clock. There was no shuffling of Bitty stirring in his sleep next to him, no quiet, even breaths to lull him into hitting snooze. When his alarm ended it was back to silence, no sounds but the ones Jack made himself as he got up and shuffled off to the bathroom.

His showers were silent, no southern voice crooning out a playful rendition of one of Beyonce's songs, no little grumbles of how Jack kept the water too cold, or that he forgot the cap to the toothpaste again. When he stepped out he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out, memories echoing a chastising voice that always reprimanded him for leaving his hair dripping wet.

The kitchen was one of the most painful places to be. There were none of the telltale signs of Bitty cooking, no music on in the background as pots bubbled and pans sizzled. He hadn't heard the sound of the oven beeping in weeks. The most familiar noise for the kitchen now was the whirring of his nutribullet, Jack sustaining himself on a mix of smoothies and protein bars.

Work was mostly the same, the only place Jack could really relax now and get out of his head. Work, train, skate, again and again. The routine kept him busy, but nothing could stop him from jumping at the sound of his phone buzzing, hurriedly taking it out to check before deflating instantly each time when it was just Shitty, or the group chat. Bitty had gone completely silent, the last thing he'd sent Jack was an 'I'm fine' the day after he left, and only because Jack had refused to stop blowing his phone up until he got a response.

He'd found out through his snapchat story that Bitty found a place, his heart aching at a video of Bitty with a wide smile plastered on his face, showing off the apartment. Through the group chat he gleaned more information about how Bitty was doing, including his new address and the name of the bakery he'd been hired at. Though he'd never admit it, Jack started taking a new route to work every other day, that just happened to pass by Bitty's apartment. And if someone asked him what route he'd been taking for his runs, he would omit the detour he took to run past the bakery.

His route changes paid off in a few days when he saw Bitty at work, chattering away to a young couple who were buying something. He looked, well, as he always did to Jack. Beautiful, and bubbly, and warm, and at least in that moment he seemed to be doing just fine. Jack couldn't say the same for himself, staring at Bitty through the door for a few wistful moments before ducking into the nearest alley to try to compose himself. He went back to his old route the next day, but his drive to work remained the same.

With nothing to look forward to at home anymore, Jack spent less and less time there. He stayed out on the ice a good hour after everyone else, his gym sessions were long and grueling. Most of his teammates just chalked it up to him wanting to prove himself with the C, though some were secretly worried. Everyone just let him be, not one willing to be the one to ask if he was okay.

It had been another day of nothing but silence and overworking, Jack sluggishly driving home, the country pop playlist Bitty had made him playing through his car. He slowed as he passed Bitty's apartment, noting the light on at a couple different floors. He wondered which one was Bitty's, what he was doing right now, if he was okay. Headlights in his side mirrors brought him back to reality, eyes back on the road and he continued home.

The silence welcomed him back, enveloping him the moment he walked in. Jack immediately headed to the bedroom, kicking off his clothes and changing into some sweats and an old samwell shirt, grabbing his phone when it buzzed. It was Shitty checking in, the only one from their friend group that had noticed the odd shift in how Jack and Bitty interacted. Unable to really explain, Jack had just said they'd gotten into an argument and Bitty was giving him the silent treatment. The text was just a simple "Make up with Bits yet?" to which he replied with just a no before shoving the phone back into his pocket and flopping onto the bed.

He toyed with the idea of just going to sleep but his stomach panged with hunger, angry with Jack for only running on a smoothie all day. Reluctantly, he stood back up, shuffling into the kitchen. Pulling down the nutribullet from the cabinet, he headed over to the fridge to grab some fruit, opening the door before freezing.

Inside the fridge was a plate of food, covered carefully with plastic wrap and a little note on top. Jack's heart leapt into his throat, grabbing the note. The neat writing sent a flood of warmth through Jack, reading it carefully.

'You need to buy groceries, can't just live on smoothies and power bars! I made too much tonight and this is on your meal plan so I figured you could eat it. Let myself in with the spare you gave me, hope that's okay. Take care of yourself. - B'

Jack stared at the note, rereading it again and again. Bitty brought him food, he was worried about him. He still had the spare key. Bitty had been here.

He pulled out the plate, taking a look at the meal. It was one of his favorites that Bitty would make from his meal plan, well-seasoned grilled cod with fresh veggies and brown rice. Bitty wasn't a big fish eater, but he always made it at least once a week because Jack liked it so much. Setting the note down on the counter, he unwrapped the dish and stuck it in the microwave to reheat. When it was done he took it out, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before sitting down at the table.

Grabbing his phone, Jack pulled up a playlist, pressing play and letting Beyonce echo off his walls. He took a bite and closed his eyes, tears welling up just from the sheer familiarity. He ate slowly, savoring every bite and listening to Bey belt out a ballad about love. It wasn't anywhere like it was actually having Bitty there, but it was closer than it had been in weeks.

At least for the moment, the silence was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is the shortest of the 4 so just bear w me~


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly, they had made a routine. After the first meal, Jack had sent him a text, thanking him and praising the meal. Bitty had only sent back a 'you're welcome' but it was more than enough to make Jack happy. A few days later he came back to find Bitty's dish, which he'd left on the counter after washing, gone, and a new plate of food in the fridge.

Jack ate, listened to Beyonce, and thanked Bitty. Bitty told him you're welcome, and showed up a few days later with another meal and to get his plate back. This continued for a couple weeks, the frequency of Bitty's meals showing up growing by the day. They still never crossed paths, the few days Jack got home early never seemed to match up with the days Bitty decided to bring him food. He was both relieved and disappointed at that, unsure just how to react if he did see him face to face again.

He was forced to figure it out eventually anyways, when a Thursday evening rolled around and he came home to sound. There was a quiet melody, a Taylor Swift song Jack kind of recalled, and the well-known sound of someone moving around in his kitchen, utensils clattering. Jack stiffened, trying to slow his breathing and calm down, dropping his stuff at the door and walking into the kitchen.

There he was. Bitty stood at the stove like he'd always been there, waiting, in a tank and shorts and mismatched socks and the joke apron Shitty got him last Christmas that said "Hot Stuff Coming Through". It took every ounce of Jack's will to not just pull him close and kiss the life out of him. Instead he cleared his throat, and threw out a quiet "Hey."

Bitty jumped in surprise, whirling around, looking shocked to be caught. "Jack! Oh gosh, I'm sorry to just be cooking here without asking, but I know today's your cheat day and I felt like making chicken fettuccine alfredo and that just simply cannot be reheated. I thought I was timing it perfectly for it to be done a little before you'd come home, but I guess your schedule's changed some. I didn't mean to overstep anything I can just-"

"It's fine Bitty. Thank you, that sounds amazing. I would never say no to you cooking here, you know that." He wouldn't say no to just about anything Bitty wanted, but that didn't really need to be said. Bitty gave him a little smile, turning back to the stove.

"Well it'll still be a little while if you wanted to go wash up." Jack hummed in reply, taking one last look at Bitty before walking out, heading to the bathroom. He showered in record time, afraid that by the time he got out Bitty might be gone, but the music kept leaking through the door to assure him that the other man was still there.

He changed clothes and headed back out, Bitty glancing over and chuckling at the sight. "What?" Jack asked, leaning against the far counter to watch Bitty cook.

"You're gonna catch a cold coming out here with your head sopping, I swear." Jack laughed brightly, and pointed at the small towel he had wrapped around his shoulders.

"I've got a towel to catch the drips, I thought ahead."

"Just use that towel to dry your head! I swear Jack, you are just a piece of work."

They both laughed at that, Jack relenting and using the small towel to scrub at his head quickly, huffing at the odd way it ended up looking after. "This is why I never towel dry, my hair looks crazy." Bitty just giggled under his breath and turned back to the stove, finishing up dinner. Jack watched as Bitty wandered through the kitchen with ease, grabbing the dishes and plating up one for Jack. He paused, looking at the second empty dish he'd grabbed, unsure what to do.

"Stay." Bitty whirled his head back to Jack, who watched him with a pleading look. "I mean, you said it yourself, alfredo can't be reheated." Bitty's face was unreadable, but he grabbed the dish and plated himself up too. Jack tried to hold back the relieved smile that wanted to split across his face, grabbing them both water and silverware, bringing it to the table as Bitty brought the pasta.

The music he'd been playing while cooking had continued, 1+1 by Beyonce coming on now. Jack sat down, a swell of happiness sweeping over him as Bitty sat in the chair he always did, right across from Jack. They dug in, Jack openly groaning in pleasure as the creamy pasta coated his tastebuds. Bitty's food was always delicious, even after hours of cooling in a fridge, but there was nothing like something he freshly made. Bitty laughed into his hand, rolling his eyes at Jack's reaction. "Oh stop, I've made this a thousand times."

"It's as delicious as I remembered." Jack replied, Bitty just giving a small smile in return before taking another mouthful of pasta. They ate with just Beyonce to fill the silence for a little while, before Jack worked up the courage to talk. He choked at first, coughing roughly and downing half his glass of water as Bitty glanced at him with concern. He smiled awkwardly, waving a hand to ensure he was ok. "Wrong pipe." He fell silent for a few more moments, before blurting out a question. "How's the new job?"

Bitty looked a bit caught off guard, but the question was enough to get a grin and Jack eased his shoulders down, not realizing how much he'd tensed up. "It's just fantastic! Honestly, I had been gunning for LaSalle from the start, it really fit with the sort of baking I like to do, you know, more traditional less european-style. I've been learning all sorts of things, it's really been great."

"That sounds great, Bits. I knew you'd excel no matter who hired you but I'm glad it was the one you really wanted. I've never actually been to any of the bakeries in Providence so I didn't know what kind it was."

"I'd chirp you for not getting out much but I know you don't have a big sweet tooth. You really oughta check it out though, it's only 2 blocks from here." Bitty quieted after that, eyes cast downward. Jack could easily picture what he had ruined for them, the two of them waking up together every morning, making breakfast together, kissing Bitty goodbye before he walked to work and then kissing him hello when he got back.

They could've had this every day. Waking up together, having lunch or dinner together, going to bed together. Bitty perked back up quickly, bringing Jack out of his thoughts by asking how training was going. They fell into a comfortable conversation quickly, their minds off the elephant in the room, just enjoying good food and each other's company. They cleaned their plates, Jack went back for seconds, and they kept it going as long as possible.

Only when Jack finished his last forkful did Bitty finally get up, carefully stacking up the dishes to bring to the kitchen. Jack grabbed his hand to still him. "I'll wash up later, don't worry about it." Bitty just chuckled and rolled his eyes, continuing to clean up.

"I ate too, it's only fair I do some cleaning."

"...Should we do it together then?"

"I wash you dry?" Jack smiled widely, nodding and letting Bitty go to help him grab everything. They walked into the kitchen together, settling in front of the sink like they had done countless times before. Their compromise when one of them insisted on cleaning had always been to split it, Bitty usually the washer and Jack the dryer.

They started cleaning, Jack's sink full of soaking plates and pots, suds clinging to Bitty's hands as he dipped them in and worked on one thing at a time. Jack watched him affectionately, heart panging at the familiar sight of Bitty's tongue poking out as he focused on scrubbing a pot. He got caught staring when Bitty went to hand him a plate, the younger man giggling a little as Jack flushed and looked away, taking the plate and starting to wipe it dry.

An easy rhythm began of Bitty washing and Jack drying, humming along to whatever was playing now, one of Beyonce's older songs that Jack had yet to memorize. Their sides bumped together, elbows rubbing together as Bitty handed over a plate, Jack taking it with an affectionate smile. The one Bitty gave back was reserved but pleased, staying on his face until the final utensil was washed and handed over. Jack took the spoon, rubbing it down and grinning at Bitty.

"We make quick work as a team, eh?" Bitty chuckled, turning slightly to face Jack.

"I don't think that's news to anyone, Jack."

Jack let out a little laugh, staring down at Bitty. "I guess not." he murmured, the smile on his face slipping as they locked eyes. There was nothing, silence only broken by the music, and then there was more than Jack could even comprehend. He realized seconds later that he had been the one to do something, leaning down and pressing his lips to Bitty's in a harsh, hurried kiss. His hands cupped either side of the younger man's face, Bitty's smaller hands clapping over them at first before moving to grip at Jack's shirt as he kissed back, Jack barely registering the damp cool that soaked into him from Bitty's sud-soaked fingers.

At once a flood of emotions swept over Jack, happiness and comfort two major ones that filled every last corner of him. This was right, this was Bitty, this was _home_. He kept kissing him until Bitty pulled away for air, gasping before going right back. Jack's hands trailed down, circling the other's waist and pulling him close, and then up, depositing him on one of the counters as they'd done countless times.

Jack let out little huffs of breath between kisses, pushing in harder, rougher than he usually was, nipping at Bitty's lower lip to beg entrance and was rewarded it instantly. Despite having gorged on pasta earlier he felt absolutely ravenous, licking into Bitty's mouth and slipping his hands under the back of his shirt, pressing into the younger man's warm back. A shuddered, muffled moan was Bitty's reply, Jack finally pulling away a bit to kiss a trail down his jaw, settling into a well-known crook in Bitty's neck, mouthing and suckling as Bitty let out short choppy gasps.

"God Bits I love you..." he groaned into Bitty's neck, Bitty gasping back his name, fistfuls of Jack's shirt clutched in his hands. Bitty repeated his name, once, then again, and it takes a couple more and a light push for Jack to realize he's actually calling for him. He reluctantly moved from the start of a mark he'd been making, pulling back to look at Bitty. He saw his mouth moving, asking something, but all he could focus on were his lips. Puffy from rough kissing, and a bit red from the nips, Bitty's mouth was more inviting than ever. He leaned in to capture it, only to have Bitty push him back, rough enough to bring him back to reality.

"Jack!" He repeated again, Jack blinking hard and closing his mouth tight, willing his eyes to meet Bitty's.

"Sorry, sorry, what?"

"I said, what is this?" Jack furrowed in confusion, Bitty sighing at the look. "What are we doing?"

"...Kissing? Making out? ...Getting back together?" He added the third option after a few more moments of careful deliberation, trying not to let the hope seep into his face too much. Bitty's upset frown certainly helped that.

"Has anything changed? I don't know about you, but my feelings about everything have not changed one bit since we first broke up."

"I-I don't know. I've sort of just been throwing myself into work, I tried not to let myself think. Then you started leaving me food, and I thought maybe you missed me as much as I missed you and that was our restart."

"Lord knows I've missed you Jack." Bitty said with a little sniff, looking down at his lap. "I'll admit, I kind of used the dinners as an excuse to check up on you, make sure you weren't surviving on just your disgusting protein bars and smoothies, which you basically were, and I wanted to have some kind of tie to you again. But I never meant for... well, this. Like I said earlier, I didn't even think you'd be home before I finished!"

Jack's brows were scrunched together tight, his mind in overload as he tried to process just where he'd screwed tonight up. "So... you don't want to get back together?" The words were hardly a whisper, Jack struggling to even get them out. Bitty blinked fast, trying to will away a couple tears that threatened to well up, and shook his head.

"Not if it's back to hiding. I can't go back to that."

Jack stepped back, head ducking down as he mumbled out an apology before storming out, locking himself in the bathroom. He plonked himself down on the edge of the tub, head in his hands as he willed himself to breathe. What felt like hours passed before he could bring himself to lift his head, staring at the closed door just feet away. Had Bitty left yet? Could he somehow fix this still?

He got up quickly, pulling the door open and rushing out. "Bitty!" He called out, only to be met with silence. The music was gone, and a quick look in the kitchen revealed the soundbar was off, no phone plugged into it any longer. Jack walked into the living room, scanning every inch for any sign that Bitty might still be there. His eyes centered in on the small table by the front door, where he always left his wallet and keys when he got home.

Set next to his keys was the lone spare he'd given Bitty, no longer attached to anything.


	4. Chapter 4

Bitty was doing really well. He had a new job doing what he loved, only a few blocks away from his very own apartment. He was making enough to not only pay his rent but to splurge here and there on whatever he felt like, and that was plenty to make him happy. He was doing really well.

Or at the very least, that was what he repeated to himself any time Jack creeped into his thoughts. Which, unfortunately, was exceedingly often, so he found himself repeating his little mantra over and over, trying to lose himself in the baking when the mantra inevitably stopped helping, trapping his frustrations in the dough. After weeks of only baking at work it finally followed him home again, no longer able to whittle away his stress with only work-related baking.

In a scene all too familiar to him he found himself covering every surface of his apartment with pies, dozens of scents surrounding him, enveloping him, suffocating him, until he couldn't take it any longer and started making visits to his neighbors. Soon every single person that was home in his apartment had a pie or two, and when he'd run out of people there he started packing pies up and trying to stuff them in his freezer. His hands were itching to get back in dough but he knew it was too much, he had to stop.

He drew himself a hot bath, hissing as he got in, sinking down deep into the almost scalding water until he reached his nose. Staring at the faucet, Bitty took in slow, deep breaths, wringing his hands together under the water, willing himself to just still. He'd put on the Lemonade album, letting Beyonce's pain overlap his, begging her to help him expel all of it.

As the music started Bitty screwed his eyes shut, hot tears squeezing out and rolling down his face, joining the bath water. He pulled his knees to his chest, pressing his face into them, quiet, choked sobs echoing off the walls.

By the time the album was done Bitty was prune-fingered and dry eyed, splashing the tear streaks away before pulling himself up and out of the bath, groping for the plug with his toes and yanking it out before stepping out and into a towel. He wrapped himself up tight, grabbing another towel and ruffling his hair gently, drying it. He let out a little laugh at the mess of a style he made, grabbing a brush and quickly taming it before walking out to the kitchen. He grabbed himself a beer from his fridge, popping it open and scrunching his nose at the familiar bitter taste, letting it coat his mouth and distract him.

A new normal slowly overtook, and Bitty once again got used to the slightly empty feeling of coming home to an empty apartment, filled the silence with music and the sound of his own cooking. He went out now and then, when coworkers asked and he felt like being social, but it was never anything more than some drinks and dancing. The walk back home was always very sobering, with no one more than happy to be his designated driver, or at the very least fill the quiet with constant chirping about him partying like he was still in college.

Those nights were a little easier though, finding sleep faster than he'd normally been, clutching Senor Bun tight and letting his brain rest for once. The mornings after were always tough, no gentle kisses to coax him to wake up, no aspirin waiting at the bedside. He groaned and got up on his own, leaving Senor Bun to guard the bed as he slunk into the bathroom and started his day anew.

He kept chugging along, day by day, making sure to keep up with his old teammates so no one would worry. Lardo had already picked up on something but she didn't press more than checking in on him personally every couple days, untrusting of what Bitty shared with the group chat or through his snaps. At most Bitty would mention feeling a bit lonely, unused to living on his own after the Haus, and she sympathized, well as much as she could with them both knowing the moment she'd graduated she'd moved in with Shitty.

Bitty was doing okay though, he'd gone through more of his life without Jack than with, and he could handle it. No matter how much he loved Jack, he had spent more than his fair share hiding everything, till it all came bursting out of him and there was no putting it back. If he couldn't share his happiness with his friends, then he'd have to make due with sharing his loneliness.

It was a little odd, Bitty had to admit, for Lardo to call out of nowhere just as he finished up his early Saturday shift. He picked up immediately, concerned. "Hey Lards, what's up?"

"Biiiiits, you outta work yet?"

"Just got out, everything okay?"

"Yeah, I have a favor to ask of you. Jack was asking me to help him start an Instagram account, but he got confused when I started talking about hashtags and filters. His PR people want him to open at least one social media account this weekend, and since you're the social media star of the group I figured you could help him."

Bitty stiffened, slowing his pace. "Jack? Um... I dunno Lardo, you're the artsy one of our group. You'd understand Instagram better."

"I can't show him what I'm talking about though, you're the only other one of our group who's in Providence. You gotta show him, it's your duty as teammates."

"Lards we haven't played on a line together in years, sides, I haven't talked to Jack much lately, I don't wanna just be all up in his business."

"It's cool Bitty, I already suggested it to him and he thought it was a great idea. He's home now, that's why I wanted to catch you as you were getting out of work. I kind of already told him you were on board." Bitty huffed in annoyance, Lardo chuckling in response. "C'mon, it's a good excuse to say hi, steal a couple of those fancy beers he keeps. Let me know how it goes, talk to you later Bitty." With that she hung up, Bitty groaning quietly as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

He took his time walking to Jack's, stretching out the two blocks as long as he could. When he arrived he walked in, giving an awkward hello to the doorman who still recognized him and let him through without question, taking the elevator up to Jack's floor. He paused in front of his door, debating on just leaving and giving Lardo an excuse to tell Jack, before knocking quietly.

The door opened with a flourish, Jack standing there looking both dapper and stressed. He was wearing a white button down, navy slacks, and Bitty's favorite tie, the blue one that matched his eyes. "Jack! Hey.." He greeted awkwardly, Jack stepping aside and letting him in. They sat down at the couch, each at one end. "So Lardo mentioned something about you starting an Instagram and needing help?"

"That was a lie." Jack blurted out, his hands clutching at his slacks, eyes trained on Bitty, unmoving. Bitty scrunched his face a little, confused.

"What?"

"That was a lie. She came up with it. To get you here."

"...Why did Lardo want me to come here?"

"Because she's setting up a surprise party at your apartment with the rest of the Haus. Well, the Haus people we all know at least."

"What? Wait, what? She's here? They're here? No, wait, how did she get in my apartment?"

"I think she dug up your houseplant and found your spare key or something. That part's not really important. The party was my idea." Jack said, running a hand through his hair. Bitty noticed that he'd brushed it back, an atypical style for him but one Bitty always liked. "I told her we hadn't really had any time to hang out this summer and you seemed lonely and it sort of snowballed from there. I knew she'd use me as a distraction and get me some time alone with you to talk."

Bitty was a bit overwhelmed with the flood of information Jack just hit him with, but he focused on what seemed most important. "You wanted to talk to me?" He asked, Jack nodding, looking a little unsure, before scooching closer.

"Bits. I thought I would be okay, letting you go. I had started coping, albeit terribly, those first couple weeks without you, but that night we had dinner together reminded me of how much I was giving up when I gave you up. I've done a lot of thinking, and I never want to give you up again." Bitty swallowed hard, his heartbeat ringing in his ears as he tried to take in what Jack was saying.

"So what does this mean?" He asked, voice soft and unsure. Jack leaned in, taking Bitty's hands in between his, holding them gently.

"It means that I'd like us to get back together, if you'll have me, and I'd like to use this party as our chance to tell all of our friends about us. We can skype both our parents later, hell I'll fly us out to them if you wanted."

Bitty's eyes welled up instantly, a bright smile spreading wide as he launched into Jack's arms, tucking his face into his neck and holding tight. "Skype's ok." he mumbled a few moments later, Jack laughing and wrapping his arms around him tight.

"I love you so much, Bits. I'm sorry it took me so long to be ready to share that with people." Bitty pulled back to look Jack in the face, Jack moving a hand to gently wipe away Bitty's tears.

"I love you too." He said, pausing, then grinning a little wider and adding, "Let's go blow everyone's minds."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading and for all the wonderful comments! I've decided to do a little epilogue chapter, that'll likely go up monday or tuesday. Love y'all, and feel free to reach out to me on tumblr, I'd love some omgcp friends!
> 
> fuckthenaysayers.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

"SURPRISE!"

"Oh gosh, y'all are too much." Bitty was beaming widely at his old teammates, who'd just jumped out from their poor hiding spots when they heard the door unlock. Shitty instantly looked betrayed, pointing at Jack, who stood next to Bitty, accusingly.

"He wasn't surprised, Jack told him!" Jack chuckled, rolling his eyes and casually slipping an arm around Bitty's shoulders.

"How else would I get him to head back here all of a sudden?"

"I can't believe y'all came here for no reason other than to surprise me." Holster and Ransom were quick to move in, pulling Bitty away from Jack and into a tight hug between them, Holster ruffling his hair playfully.

"Dude, our itty bitty baker buddy was lonely in his new place, there's no better reason than that!" Ransom said, Holster backing him up with a 'YEAH' before they let Bitty go, Shitty and Lardo taking their place to give him a hello hug. "Chowder, Dex, and Nursey send hugs and hellos, it was too spur of the moment for them to make it down."

"I'll be sure to send them some thank you pastries later, really, it's more than enough to see you all." With that the little party got started, everyone squeezing into Bitty's living room, Lardo half-sprawling in Shitty's lap on the couch, Bitty and Jack sitting next to them, Ransom and Holster sitting on the floor in front. Shitty grabbed a couple pizzas before he'd arrived, Ransom and Holster having supplied the beer. After much debate they settled on High School Musical, if only because Bitty laughed every time Holster started belting out the lyrics.

Pizza was devoured, beer was drank, and songs were sang, Bitty eventually breaking away to go into the kitchen, debating on making something fresh or just defrosting one of the many pies he still had sitting in his fridge. In an effort to finally free his fridge he decided on defrosting, pulling out a couple pies, sticking a cherry one in the oven and pulling out a key lime. Jack came in a few minutes later, helping Bitty by pulling out plates and forks, watching as Bitty hummed happily, starting his coffee pot with some decaf. "I like your place, Bits."

Bitty glanced over, smiling softly at Jack before turning back to the coffee. "Thank you! It's not much yet, but it's something. I've got a lot to do to make it feel like home yet." Jack made a little hum in response, eyes glancing from the living room where everyone else was still sitting and back to Bitty.

"Well, if you, um, I mean, I'd like..., if you wanted of course, uh..." Jack flushed a little, feeling flustered, standing up straight, his shoulders stiffening. Bitty looked over, chuckling and walking over, laying a hand on Jack's arm.

"Spit it out Mister Zimmerman." He said playfully, Jack letting out a little laugh before relaxing.

"I know we've only just fixed this, but I'd love if you'd move in with me. These past weeks of being alone have confirmed that I never want to feel like that again. Only if you'd want to, of course, I know you've got your own opinions about it so..." Jack gave an awkward smile, voice stalling as he decided it was best to stop talking than keep awkwardly rambling. Bitty was kind enough to let it go, eyes filled with love as he moved in pressing himself into Jack's arms, head resting right under Jack's chin perfectly.

"I would love to move in with you Jack, gosh, what a day this is." Bitty said with a little happy sigh, Jack's arms circling around him and pulling him closer, his nose nuzzling into blond hair.

"Aww man, what a love fest going on in here!" Shitty's voice broke through the moment, Bitty's first instinct was to pull away immediately, but Jack's arms kept him right where he was. Shitty grinned widely, moving in to join them, his arms wrapping around both of them as much as he could. "Guys! Come get in on this group hug!" He called out, Ransom and Holster whooping from the living room as they hopped to their feet, joining the fray in seconds, as Lardo watched from the doorway, smirking at her ridiculous boys. They pulled away only when Bitty finally had enough, squirming until they broke, Holster whining that it was too short.

"Alright, alright, how's about we have some pie now?" Bitty asked, a resounding cheer being all the answer he needed. Everyone took a seat but Jack, who helped Bitty bring over the pies before sitting next to him. Once everyone had a slice and started to dig in, Bitty and Jack shared a look, Jack clearing his throat and getting everyone's attention.

"So. I have some news, I want to share with you guys. This is incredibly confidential, but I know I can trust you all to have my back." There was a smattering of affirming noises, Rans and Holster's mouths too full for them to properly answer. Jack looked over at Bitty, who gave an encouraging smile and laid his hand on the table near Jack. Jack took it, squeezing it affectionately before turning back to the others. "Bitty and I are dating. We have been, for a long time now."

There was silence, and then almost deafening levels of noise. Shitty was shrieking, sputtering over his words, utterly dumbfounded. "WHAT!? HOW, WHEN? HOW DID WE? JACK, YOU- I" Lardo was silent, but the shock was clear, her eyebrows sky high, mouth agape, eyes darting from Bitty to Jack as her mind worked in overtime to process literally every little off thing Bitty or Jack had ever done, to see if somehow she just missed something obvious this whole time.

Ransom and Holster were hollering with excitement, one shouting about them owing a million fines and another just repeating "deets, deets, deets" over and over. "Good god y'all, the man just said it was confidential..." Bitty murmured jokingly, but it helped them all settle. Shitty looked tearful now, getting up out of his chair to cling to Jack.

"Zimmermann you beautiful bastard, I can't believe you let me be such a heteronormative dickhole the whole time I've known you! I had no idea you liked guys!"

"It's okay Shits, wasn't really something I put out there."

"Still though, I shouldn't have just assumed. So how long?"

"Eh, it was two years in May, right Bits?" Bitty opened his mouth to reply but he was cut off by all of the others, including Lardo.

"TWO YEARS?!" "WHAT??" "TWO- SINCE GRADUATION BRO?" Everyone's voices melded together, and another freakout ensued, Bitty and Jack laughing as everyone lost their minds again.

"Wait, wait, so what about all this? Jack, you suggested this because you said Bitty was lonely, but that doesn't make sense if you guys are dating." Lardo asked, the others quieting down to hear the response, curious. Jack looked down, uneasy, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck in a nervous habit.

"Well, technically it was true. Bitty ah..." He looked to Bitty, unsure if he wanted to divulge what happened. Bitty was still holding his hand, and rubbed it comfortingly with his thumb, taking over.

"I was very lonely, actually. We... we broke up, near the start of the summer. Had different feelings about the future and it was all a bit too much." Bitty's mouth was pulled tight, memories of the past few weeks swimming in his head. Jack pulled him back with a little squeeze of his hand, and he looked to him lovingly. "But we sorted that out, we're okay."

If Shitty wasn't crying before, he certainly was now. He hugged Jack again, tightly, tears soaking into his shoulder. "Bro." was all he choked out. The other's followed suit, Lardo moving in to hug Bitty along with Holster, Ransom going for Jack.

"Guys, jeez, we had no idea so much was happening. I'm sorry you didn't feel you could share it with us, we'll always have your backs." Lardo said, pulling Bitty in despite him trying to play it off.

"Seriously. Two years is crazy long to keep all that shit to yourselves, it's surprising you were able to keep quiet so long." Holster said, Ransom nodding in agreement. Bitty and Jack let themselves be hugged, hugging their friends back, and then each other when they were let go. Ransom mumbled something about a fine under his breath, Lardo elbowing him to stay quiet. Eventually everyone settled down enough to go back to pie, Shitty, Ransom, and Holster throwing out questions now and then, trying to get some deets.

They found their way back to the couch, Bitty now snuggling into Jack's lap just as Lardo did with Shitty, Ransom and Holster cheering about the now free space for them to be on the couch. They sat with their legs overlapping, the small space freed by Bitty moving not really enough for them both but they refused to move. They moved onto High School Musical 2, then 3, Ransom and Holster dipping out halfway through to call it a night. They got a hotel for the weekend, everyone having cleared their schedules to spend some quality time with Bitty.

Lardo and Shitty ended up sprawled on the couch together, Jack and Bitty coming back from the kitchen with more beers only to find them both passed out. They looked at each other, chuckling and returning to the kitchen. "I guess that's the cue to head to bed, hm?" Bitty said, returning the beers to the fridge, Jack standing next to him.

"I guess so. I should head back then..." He said with a little sigh, reluctant to leave. Bitty gave him a playful smile, reaching for a hand and entwining their fingers.

"Well... if you don't mind sharing a twin with me, you could stay over." He suggested, batting his lashes. Jack smiled brightly, pulling Bitty in and kissing him gently, once, then twice, before picking him up fireman-style. Bitty squawked for a moment before giggling and settling down, not wanting to wake Lardo and Shitty. "I signed up for this..." He mumbled, Jack giving his butt a gentle pat before chuckling and carrying him to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couldn't resist adding a little reference to the most recent batch of updates. Thanks so much for reading, and commenting, and leaving kudos! It made me so happy, I'm glad y'all liked it all! 
> 
> (ps, how'd everyone like the last update? I'm a fan. :D )


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